


Sins of the Chloroplast

by legalgood



Series: Hurloane Xena AU [1]
Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Xena: Warrior Princess, F/F, Yes it's a xena au, so at the beginning there's a bit of suicidal ideation but it is quick, thanks again hurloane discord
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-17
Updated: 2017-08-28
Packaged: 2018-12-16 08:10:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,064
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11824608
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/legalgood/pseuds/legalgood
Summary: “The deal is this: I spring you out of here, you and I get out of this town, and we try to help people. The law isn’t always kind in Goldcliff, I know; hell, my moral vices might outweigh your illegal ones. We’ll go straight, the two of us. Hurley and Raven, traveling do-gooders,” Hurley explained. Sloane smirked.“Lieutenant, I’ve neveroncebeenstraight,” she whispered in Hurley’s ear.





	1. Raven Meets Ram

**Author's Note:**

> thanks again to the hurloane discord for accepting all my au offerings

         _Fuck_ , Sloane swore to herself, as her battlewagon flew off the edge of the cliff. This wasn’t supposed to happen. She had believed that the power of the sash would be enough to win the race; hoped it’d enough to save her. Clearly, that wasn’t the case.

 

        _Fuck_ , Hurley thought, staring out over the edge of the cliff. This wasn’t supposed to happen. Finally, _finally_ , she had caught the Raven, and then she goes and pulls a stunt like that! Without waiting for approval from Captain Bain, Hurley grabbed a nearby militiaperson’s crossbow, tied a length of rope to an arrow, and shot it into the ground. “Here goes nothing,” she muttered under her breath, and she jumped over the cliff, holding the other end of the rope. In retrospect, maybe she should have tied the rope around _herself_ , too.

 

         Falling to her doom, Sloane let her mind calm. With wind rushing in her ears, she recalled all that she had accomplished since she donned the sash. As horrific images of screaming citizens and bodies filled her vision, she let out a scream, a sob, and curled in on herself. Whatever self-preservation instincts she had or that the sash gave her were drowned out in the moment of all-encompassing guilt.

 

         Sloane was shaken from her brutal reminiscing by a vaguely familiar voice shouting “shit, shit shit shit shit shit,” at the top of its lungs. She uncurled her head to see a halfling woman, a militia officer by the uniform, heading toward her. Sloane’s eyes widened and met those of the halfling woman. Suddenly, all the sleeping instincts snapped back to attention, and acting almost independently of her still frozen mind, Sloane’s body fired her grappling hook toward the top of the cliff.

 

         She caught the halfling woman’s arm as she fell close enough, and pulled her tight to her. Sloane carefully retracted the rope, pulling herself and the halfling woman back up. As they reached the spot where the hook had embedded into the rock face, militia officers helped them both back over the edge.

 

         Groaning, Sloane got to her feet. The halfling woman rushed over to her and clapped her hands. She carefully laid them on Sloane’s forearms, and Sloane felt the healing energy ease the shock from her limbs. As she did this, Sloane’s hands were pulled brusquely back and cuffed. The halfling woman looked at the militia officer who did this sharply, but they just shrugged before leaving the pair alone.

 

         “I—thank you, first of all, Raven—” the halfling woman began, but Captain Bain’s approach interrupted her.

 

         “Sloane,” Sloane managed to whisper. “You can call me Sloane.” The halfling woman smiled at her softly.

 

         “And you can call me—”

 

         “Lieutenant Hurley!” Captain Bain clapped the halfling woman’s shoulder good-naturedly. “Nice work out there. Congrats on catching the Raven! You took a bit of a nasty fall there, Hurley. Why don’t you get some shuteye, rest up after doin’ all that healing stuff? We can take it from here.” The militia captain pulled Hurley aside and sympathetically patted her arm. “Seriously, Hurley, take a break for a few days. I know this Raven case was a tough one. You deserve the rest.”

 

         “Thank you, Captain Bain,” Hurley began. Bain clapped her on the shoulder again.

 

         “Right, straight away home then, Lieutenant, and that’s an order! I don’t want to see your mug again until it’s well-rested!”

 

         “Aye-aye, Captain,” Hurley saluted dutifully. She glanced once more over at Sloane and met her gaze sadly. “Thank you, Sloane,” she whispered.

 

* * *

 

         “I’ve eluded you bastards for _years_ , what makes you think you can hold me here for long, eh?” Sloane shouted through the bars of her cell. She sighed and rested her head on the bars again. Being in jail certainly was boring; just days ago she would have already broken out, using the power of the sash. But now she swore that she’d go straight, or, straight as she could, given the circumstances; she wasn’t going to use the sash to hurt innocent people anymore, she was going to attempt to stop stealing, she was going to try to do the right thing.

 

         Sloane began humming a tune and soon began dancing gently around her cell. She managed to forget the images of blood against green plant matter as she moved; it took a few minutes and a few coughs from Lieutenant Hurley to make Sloane aware of her presence. She turned around abruptly and froze, blushing, when she saw Hurley.

 

         “Uh…” Sloane stuttered. Hurley shook her head in a “gods you’re adorable when you blush but we don’t have time for me to compliment you” sort of way, and raised a finger to her lips. Silently, Hurley slid a key into the lock on the cell door and unlocked Sloane’s cell. Sloane slipped out of the opening, prepared to run as far away from Goldcliff as possible. Hurley grabbed her hand as she made to run.

 

         “Oh no you don’t,” Hurley whispered fiercely. “I’m coming with you.” Sloane raised an eyebrow. “I didn’t devote my life to apprehending you to let you go the moment you were caught. You’re still in trouble, so I’m coming along.”

 

         “Why Lieutenant Hurley, are you coming along to keep me _out_ of trouble, or to help me _make_ some?”

 

         “The deal is this: I spring you out of here, you and I get out of this town, and we try to _help_ people. The law isn’t always kind in Goldcliff, I know; hell, my moral vices might outweigh your illegal ones. We’ll go straight, the two of us. Hurley and Raven, traveling do-gooders,” Hurley explained. Sloane smirked.

 

         “Lieutenant, I’ve never _once_ been _straight_ ,” she whispered in Hurley’s ear.

 

         “You know what I mean, Sloane.”

 

         “You know, I think I like the sound of Raven and _Ram_ better. Stubbornness suits you,” Sloane teased. Hurley laughed quietly.

 

         “Let’s get your wagon and get out of town then, Raven!”

 

         “Ram, I think this is going to be one hell of an adventure.”


	2. The Long Road to Idlewile Isle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “How fast can this baby go?”
> 
>  
> 
> “You watched the races, didn’t you?” Hurley grinned at Sloane’s response.
> 
>  
> 
> “Think anyone’ll mind us speeding?”
> 
>  
> 
> “Hurley I think you and I are the only living things on this road for miles, and I sure as fuck don’t mind,” Sloane replied, lips curling into a smile as she realized Hurley’s plan.
> 
>  
> 
> “Hold onto your mask, Raven,” Hurley yelled as she pressed the pedal to the floor and the wagon shot forward.

         “Where to next, Hurls?” Sloane asked as they raced away from Goldcliff. Hurley just replied with a mad cackle as the adrenaline of their deeds shot through her.

 

         “Holy shit, we just stole a wagon!”

 

         “Hurls, it’s _my_ wagon. The militia just impounded it, it’s still _mine_.”

 

         “ _Sloane_ ,” Hurley repeated, “we still just _stole_ a wagon from the _militia_.” The adrenaline was fading and Hurley was starting to blanch with the realization of how many laws she had just broken. Sloane noticed her distress and leaned over to place a hand on Hurley’s shoulder.

 

         “Hurls, let’s put all that happened in Goldcliff behind us. Clean slate, alright?”

 

         Hurley nodded. “Clean slate.”

 

         The pair was silent for a few minutes, letting the wind blow the hair back from their faces. Hurley spoke up suddenly.

 

         “Idlewile Isle.”

 

         “What?” Sloane cocked her head and Hurley nearly laughed at the birdlike gesture.

 

         “I’d like to go to Idlewile Isle. You asked where we were heading next,” Hurley explained. “That’s where the monastery is.”

 

         “Shit, Hurls, you’re from Idlewile too?”

 

         “You’re kidding me! I trained at the Idlewile Mallowmarsh Monastery. My family actually lives up by Kellsea. They breed large dogs and small horses.”

 

         Sloane snorted. “Large dogs and small horses, eh?” Hurley made an indignant expression.

 

         “Halfling mounts.” Sloane laughed.

 

         “Alrighty, Idlewile Isle it is, then.” She paused. “I’m from the West District,” she ventured. Hurley glanced worriedly at her.

 

         “Oh,” she said in a small voice.

 

         “Yeah.”

 

         “We don’t have to go—”

 

         “Hurls.” Sloane put a hand on Hurley’s forearm. “It’s okay. I just…haven’t quite made my peace with Idlewile. But we’ll burn that bridge when we come to it, eh?”

 

         Hurley elbowed Sloane, and they drove onward toward a place they both not-quite-called home.

 

* * *

 

         “This is seriously the only rest stop between here and Idlewile?”

 

         “Yep,” Hurley confirmed. They were waiting on the surprisingly sizable line for bathrooms at a rest stop that was rather run-down for one so often utilized.

 

         “Well, this sucks,” Sloane commented after a few minutes.

 

         “It’s better than the woods, isn’t it?”

 

         “You got that rig— _shit_.” Sloane’s eyes darted to the side and spotted the distinctive figures of the Hammerhead Gang a short ways off. “Hammerheads, 5 o’clock,” she whispered to Hurley.

 

         “ _Shit_ ,” Hurley whispered back. “I left the masks in the wagon.” Sloane started in surprise.

 

         “You took the masks?” Hurley shrugged.

 

         “Thought we might need ‘em at some point.”

 

         “What the fuck are they doing on the road to Idlewile?” Sloane muttered, half to herself.

 

         “Could they be after the…” Sloane shook her head, interrupting Hurley.

 

         “They’re after me. There must be a bounty out.”

 

         “This soon?”

 

         “You of all people should know Bain doesn’t waste time, Ram.”

 

         “We should probably get out of here then, Raven.” Sloane shook her head.

 

         “Gimme three minutes. I’ll see if I can get any information by listening in on their conversation. If they look in your direction, slowly make your way toward the car when they turn away. If they start coming toward you, even if I’m not back, run for the car and get as far away as you can. Got it, Ram?” Hurley grabbed Sloane’s arm as she turned to leave.

 

         “I’m not going without you, Raven. You’re still in trouble, remember?” Sloane smiled.

 

         “I’ll try not to get in any more trouble then, Ram.”

 

* * *

 

         “Boss, what’re we doin’ out in nowhere again?”

 

         “I told ya’, there’s a bounty out on the Raven, an’ if we collect it, that’s two birds with two stones, because we’ll get some cash an’ we won’t have to deal with ‘er on the track ever again.”

 

         “It’s one stone, boss,” the first hammerhead mumbled. “An’ sure that checks out but why’re we headin’ to Idlewile?”

 

         “Way I see it, the Raven only cares about two things, racing an’ stealing, an’ her family, maybe. I care about my family, even though I’m a ‘ardened criminal,” the hammerhead boss pronounced proudly. Sloane, invisible and standing a few steps away from the gathering, had to muffle her snickers. “The Raven’s family’s in Idlewile.”

 

         “How the _fuck_ does he _know_ that?” Sloane muttered under her breath.

 

         “An’ when we get there, we’ll tell ‘em we’ll burn the city down if they don’t give ‘er up,” the hammerhead boss concluded. Sloane had heard enough. She bent down and skillfully untied the laces of the hammerheads’ shoes, and tied them all to each other’s boots. She then darted away, snickering.

 

* * *

 

         “Hurls, we gotta go,” Sloane whispered in her ear. Hurley swung a fist out in Sloane’s direction, and Sloane only barely ducked out of the way. “Oh, shit, right.” Sloane uncast invisibility and Hurley let out a sigh of relief.

 

         “Don’t sneak up on me like that, Sloane.”

 

         “Sorry, forgot about invisibility. We really need to leave now, though. They’re heading for Idlewile.”

 

         Hurley nodded, and carefully the pair made their way back to the wagon.

 

         Some miles down the road, Hurley asked, “They’re looking for you, then?”

 

         “Yeah.”

 

         “Why aren’t they trying to track us then?”

 

         “Hurls, my family still lives in Idlewile.” The pair fell silent.

 

         “How fast can this baby go?”

 

         “You watched the races, didn’t you?” Hurley grinned at Sloane’s response.

 

         “Think anyone’ll mind us speeding?”

 

         “Hurley I think you and I are the only living things on this road for miles, and I sure as fuck don’t mind,” Sloane replied, lips curling into a smile as she realized Hurley’s plan.

 

         “Hold onto your mask, Raven,” Hurley yelled as she pressed the pedal to the floor and the wagon shot forward.

 

* * *

 

         They parked the wagon near the monastery; Hurley briefly went inside to get a permit, promising the monks she would return later. Then, Hurley and Sloane walked across to the West District and stopped in front of a tavern. The sign read “Wren’s Inn” and bore a simple drawing of a wren. Sloane took a deep breath.

 

         “Would you be alright standing outside for a bit?” She asked softly. Hurley nodded. As Sloane reached for the doorknob, she placed a hand on her forearm.

 

         “If you need me in there, just call. I’m here for you, Sloane.” Sloane nodded and entered the tavern.

 

* * *

 

         “You’ve got a lot of nerve showing your face here, Raven,” a tall human woman growled.

 

         “Nice to see you too, mom.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you're interested in me writing more of this AU, please leave kudos and/or comment! I'm thinking I'll write more of this; more comments might speed that process along.
> 
> Eventually, this might be part of an au where I just take xena episodes and hurloane-ify them.
> 
>  
> 
> If you like my writing shoot me a message on [tumblr](http://hemotaur.tumblr.com) and I'll link you to my professional writing blog; I write short fiction, poetry, and a science fiction serial.

**Author's Note:**

> If you're interested in me writing more of this AU, please leave kudos and/or comment! I'm thinking I'll write more of this; more comments might speed that process along.
> 
> Eventually, this might be part of an au where I just take xena episodes and hurloane-ify them.
> 
>  
> 
> If you like my writing shoot me a message on [tumblr](http://hemotaur.tumblr.com/ask) and I'll link you to my professional writing blog; I write short fiction, poetry, and a science fiction serial.


End file.
